Blackpool- 18th April, 2015

2015-04-18 14.59.47
Ground: Bloomfield Road, Blackpool
Competition: Sky Bet Championship 2014/15
Result: Blackpool  0-1 Fulham
Pie: Steak
Price: £2.50
Comments:Blackpool, the pearl of England’s coastal resorts. What more could you ask for from an away day than a trip to be beside the seaside?

The only problem is that Blackpool’s heyday was about 90 years ago. In its current state it’s like a horse with four broken legs- in desperate need of putting down. The rickety piers are on the cusp on collapse, the crazy golf pirate is missing an arm, the donkey’s dead and the arcades are saddest place you’ve ever seen. As Morrissey aptly sang “this is the coastal town that they forgot to close down”.

Blackpool FC aren’t in a much better state than the town; already relegated, with fans waging war on the owners and a pitch that resembles No Man’s Land. I was relieved to find that not only did Blackpool have pies, but that they tasted marginally better than a slab of teeth shattering Rock. Despite strongly resembling a cat’s arsehole, not to mention being filled with a lumpy brown liquid, the steak pie was a tasty little treat. The pie could have been a tad bigger, a tad hotter, steak a tad tastier and pastry a tad flakier, but then again it was a bargain at £2.50. Far from the most memorable pie of the season but at least a novel ground to end it in.

As crap as Blackpool is I can’t help but sort of revel in its dilapidated, nostalgic appeal. It’s like a time machine back to the good ol’ days. The sun was out, I had a nosy at the sea, ate a Mr Whippy, scoffed a cone of chips, saw Fulham win (just, only just) and had some bloody cheap pints. Now that I think about it, maybe Blackpool is the best place ever. Fuck it, make it capital of the UK or even better, declare it as its own regal state.

After being relegated at Stoke I said surely it can’t get any worse. Well, this season wasn’t much better. Let’s hope we buy some bloody wingers for next season, that would be a good start. Sadly no novel away trips to Wigan, Blackpool or Millwall next season but with Kit Symons in charge relegation to League One is never far away…

Rating: 5/10

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